


Papercut

by carefuldean



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Based on a song, Couch Cuddles, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Making Up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-20
Updated: 2015-08-20
Packaged: 2018-04-16 07:21:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 846
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4616379
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/carefuldean/pseuds/carefuldean
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean and Cas have a fight. Well, they had a fight. This is about what happens after.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Papercut

**Author's Note:**

> I was listening to the song 'Papercut' by Zedd (ft. Troye Sivan) and this kinda just popped up, so I thought I'd write it down.

Dean and Cas are staring at each other, breathing hard. Both jaws and fists are clenched, and the small amount of distance between them is tinged with anger and hurt. Dean takes a step back, and honestly, can’t remember why he loves Cas right now. The small disagreement escalated so quickly, and his vision is clouded with hurt and betrayal and anger; red-hot, heart-racing, all-I-can-do-not-to-scream-at-you anger. 

“I’m going out,” Cas growls, turning away from Dean and walking away. Dean’s throat closes up and his heart seizes; after all their whispered promises, all the murmured words between lips, Cas is leaving him? So easily?

His fear must radiate to the other man, because Cas turns back to him and manages a somewhat softer expression. “I’ll be back,” he said roughly, the words clearly not easy to get out. “I just need to clear my head.” 

Dean swallows, drinking in the sight of him while he still can, and nods. “B-be safe,” he almost whispers, the words a stark contrast from the insults and accusations he was throwing only a few moments ago. Cas clenches his jaw, seeing the same, and is gone in another few seconds. 

The bunker feels too empty without him, and Sam on a hunt. Dean had never seen before how large, how imposingly quiet the rooms could feel. He bites the inside of his cheek to keep back the tears and looks around. How could he- how could they have fucked it up so badly? The red-hot embers of anger shift in his stomach, directed not only towards Cas, but also inwards. This anger is what keeps Dean moving, what keeps the bottle of Jack in his hand from emptying completely, and gets his ass into bed. Dean glares at the wall opposite him for what feels like hours before giving in and wrapping his arms around Cas’s pillow. He tells himself it’s because he’s been used to sleeping with his arms around something for months, and not because burying his face into the pillow and smelling Cas’s shampoo calms him enough to finally go to sleep.

When Dean wakes up the next morning, his eyes sting and the anger in his stomach has turned sour. He takes a moment to realize why he feels so cold before remembering that his only company for the night was a pillow, not the body warm with love that he’s come to see as the norm. The regret he feels is nothing like the anger that caused him to say such harsh words last night. It’s as if his vision zoomed out; all the problems that he’d brought up, all the insults that Cas knew would hit him in the right places, are completely irrelevant when he’s alone. The fight last night didn’t hurt nearly as much as waking up without Cas. He gets up and out of bed so quickly that his head spins but ignores it in favor of grabbing his phone and calling Cas. He hangs up with a curse when it goes straight to voicemail. Of course his fucking phone is dead, and he’s gone and they’re both alone, and Cas didn’t even tell him where he would be, and Dean can feel the panic mix with the pain and bubble up his throat-

Until he turns into the living room and sees Cas on the couch, absolutely dead to the world. Dean sighs his relief and goes to him, crouching next to the couch and just running his hand over Cas’s hair, cupping his jaw-- reassuring himself that Cas is here, Cas is back with him.

He stirs and Dean pulls back quickly, watching him. Even if his heart had changed, he didn’t know how Cas would feel. But the ex-angel opens his eyes and sighs with relief, holding his arms out to Dean. 

“Hi,” Dean breathes as he crawls delicately on top of Cas, soothed by the arms that wrap around him and rub his back, just the way he likes it.

“Hi,” Cas echoes, his voice still thick with sleep. Dean can’t help but smile slightly and kiss his jaw.

“Missed you,” Dean whispered. “I woke up and you weren’t there.” Cas’s arms squeeze him closer, and this feels so much bigger, so much more important than any fight. 

“Sorry, baby,” is his soft reply. “Didn’t want to disturb you.” 

Dean shakes his head, letting out the tense breath he didn’t know he was holding. “It’s okay,” he says into Cas’s skin, the stubble scratching against his lips. “It- it’s all okay. I’m sorry for what I said last night.” One of Cas’s hands comes up to run over Dean’s hair, cup his head close.

“I’m sorry, and I missed you, too,” Cas murmurs. “We’re going to talk about it later, okay?”

Dean nods, his eyes closed again in the comfort of Cas’s embrace. Last night it felt like a gaping wound had been clawed into his chest, but now, with their arms around each other, the fight was just a papercut.

“Love you.”

“I love you too, Dean.”

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you liked it :) Fun fact, this is longer than an essay I have to write for school.
> 
> Tumblr: deanstattoos


End file.
